Relieve
by Chibirini1
Summary: Every year on the anniversary of that one horrible night, Itachi comes to visit Sasuke, acting like the older brother he had been. But each year brings changes, and both brother's find themselves trapped in a web of lies and emotion as each year passes.


It was the end of the first year. The day's were drawing shorter as summer ended, and the shadows seemed to only grow longer. The first anniversary of that night was finally upon them.

Sasuke, nine, was having trouble sleeping. He knew what tomorrow was, and he knew he would be spending it alone. Memories of his parents haunted him already, and the day hadn't even begun. Hours passed, much too late for a child of his age to be up. But as the time drew near to twelve, signifying the beginning of such a horrible day, Sasuke only grew more upset.

When the hour finally came, he was wide awake and curled up tightly in his bed. Willing himself not to cry all evening was exhausting, and growing harder all the time. _Maybe…No one is here…Maybe it would be ok, just once…_

His breaths grew ragged, and his body shuddered. Just as he was about to release his anguish, a noise completely stopped everything. He was frozen, because somehow he knew.

"Sasuke."

Dark eyes widened and then closed tightly. He wished it to be a dream, a nightmare, anything. But as he felt a light touch on his shoulder, he realized it was real.

He gasped at the touch and flung himself across the bed, scrambling for something, anything to defend himself. It had been a whole year, but even he knew he could not beat his older brother.

Dark eyes met a similar pair to his surprise. Itachi stood in the darkened room as a silent, tall figure. But everything was different, something was off. Or rather, on. Not only were his eyes void of the sharingan, but his face was slightly more expressive, his figure less imposing. He showed no signs that he would attack, but Sasuke was sure. It would be perfect for Itachi to come back and kill him on the anniversary of their clan's murders. Finish the job, kill the survivor.

"Calm down." The words had an opposite effect, only making Sasuke tense with fear as he gripped the headboard. He could feel his body shaking. But the worst was that voice. That voice was not the voice of Itachi Uchiha, S-rank criminal, mass murderer. That was the gentle voice of his aniki.

"Stay away from me!" Sasuke managed, but his voice was as shaky as his body. He bit his lip to keep himself from begging Itachi not to kill him, just as he did a year ago. It felt like nothing had changed between then and now, he was still afraid and only moments away from begging for his life.

Itachi unexpectedly sat down on the edge of the bed, still staring thoughtfully at his little brother. He realized it would take some time to explain, especially with Sasuke like this.

"I'm not here to hurt you." He assured. "I just wanted to spend this day with you. I know you would be alone if not."

Sasuke's eyes widened and then narrowed, his fear being replaced by anger. "I hate you! You came to spend the day that you murdered our entire family with me? Are you insane?" His breathing increased as he grew angrier and more panicked. "You hate me! Why are you really here? Are you here just to taunt me!?" He closed his eyes and tried to stop the tears from coming, but he couldn't help it. He was only nine years old.

He curled up again, ready to accept death or whatever Itachi had came to give him. He had spent an entire year consumed by anger and sadness, and he couldn't take it anymore. He didn't want to do it anymore.

Arms enveloped him and tugged him forward, causing Sasuke to let out an ear-splitting scream of pure fear as Itachi pulled him into his lap. Although Itachi looked surprised, he said nothing but tightened his grip on the thrashing child, holding him close.

Sasuke was so confused that his head was pounding. He couldn't breathe because his chest felt so tight and his throat so thick. This gesture was so familiar, his aniki was holding him, comforting him. But it was wrong, so wrong. He was a murderer, Sasuke hated him, he was going to kill him…

"It's ok, Sasuke. I know you've been strong. You can cry." Soft words had never been so sharp, driving into the little one's heart. He couldn't take it, he just couldn't. If Itachi was here to kill him and hurt him, let him. Just for this second, Sasuke wanted to feel loved.

He turned his head and began sobbing into Itachi's shirt, his small hands fisting the cloth desperately. Gentle hands rubbed his back and held him close, but no longer as tight. Itachi closed his eyes as he listened to his little brother cry like his heart was broken…which it most likely was. He had never heard such sounds of pain, even on that night one year ago. Sasuke was truly in great pain, and he had held it inside for the entire time.

No more words passed for a very long time. Sasuke cried until he could no longer, and Itachi did nothing but hold him. When finally both were silent, Itachi felt Sasuke's body grow lax and looked down to see him fighting off sleep.

"Go to sleep." He commanded tenderly, but Sasuke frowned and tried to tighten his grasp on his older brother's shirt.

"Will…you…be here? When I wake up?" He whispered, unsure of whether he wanted that or not. But even still, when Itachi nodded he felt a sense of relief.

"I told you I would spend the day with you. So you won't be alone." Sasuke was too tired to argue or protest even though a part of him inside screamed danger. But he soon fell victim to his exhaustion, falling asleep in his brother's arms like he was much smaller.

Itachi waited until Sasuke was in deep sleep to lay him down, tucking him in securely. He gently brushed away a lock of hair from the relaxed face and sighed. He removed his cloak and his shoes, hiding them in case someone decided to pay Sasuke a visit. He closed the window he had entered and drew the blinds, doing the same to every window in Sasuke's small apartment. He checked that the door was locked, and then returned to Sasuke's bedroom and laid down beside him.

The eldest raven, at fourteen, was broken up inside as well. But he could have handled the day with ease as he did every other day, if he had not thought of his otouto, completely alone on such a day. So he had made the necessary arrangement and crept into Konoha without a trace, just in time to comfort Sasuke when he needed it the most.

He did not sleep at all, but instead enjoyed the sleeping company of his little brother. He had missed him so much…just like he did the rest of his family. Just being close to Sasuke and being able to hear the soft breaths he uttered eased something inside the elder. However, he made sure to leave the bed as dawn approached, unsure of how Sasuke would react upon waking. Instead he sat in a chair across the room and watched as the single line of daylight crept across the wooden floor from the slight opening of the curtain. After the sun had risen, he did not have to wait long for Sasuke to stir and wake.

Sasuke woke, but he was sure it was a dream. Itachi stayed silent, but when Sasuke's eyes focused on him it scared him more than if Itachi had said something.

"You…You're…" He couldn't get out the words, only drawing back from the sight in terror. No matter what had happened, he was still sure Itachi had come to kill him.

The older Uchiha gave a very small smile, trying to reassure. He quietly stood and brushed his ponytail off his shoulder. "I assume you remember why I am here. Now, what do you want for breakfast?"

Sasuke's shaking stopped, but only out of shock. Itachi was asking him what he wanted for breakfast? He shrugged, watching his brother warily for his reaction.

Itachi shrugged back. Such a mimic used to make Sasuke smile, but not today. Holding back a longing sigh, he turned towards the door. "I'll see what I can find. Come."

Sasuke edged out of bed, too afraid to say no. When he felt a light touch on his back though, he jumped.

"Don't do that." He hissed. Itachi looked surprised again, but only turned away. A strange feeling of regret swelled within Sasuke, one he immediately felt angry at. What was there to feel guilty about?

Itachi made breakfast and ate it with Sasuke in silence. Neither seemed to want to speak first, so nothing was said. When it was over Itachi washed the dishes and Sasuke watched him from the doorway.

"Are you really going to tell me why you are here?" He asked his brother with the angriest voice he could muster. But Itachi did not even look up from his task.

"I already did." He looked up finally and saw Sasuke hovering in the doorway. "Come here, Sasuke. I have something for you."

Once Sasuke found the courage to obey, Itachi had wiped his hands dry and fished around in his pocket. Sasuke, out of habit, held his hand out. Itachi then dropped a shining pin into his hand. It was instantly recognized by the younger as their father's Uchiha emblem pin.

"How…?"

"It was still in what's left of the compound." Itachi immediately replied. "I thought you might want it. I know it is hard not having much from home."

Sasuke's dark eyes met Itachi's, searching them for a real explanation of why he was here and why he was doing this. He found none, but he did find a famailiar warm gaze that held love in it, something he craved so badly.

"Thank you nii-san." He whispered before cautiously reaching out to give the other a hug. Itachi accepted it gracefully, even pecking him on the cheek before he withdrew. From that moment on, Sasuke knew that Itachi was not there to hurt him. He did not understand, but he did know that his brother was here and that for at least today, he loved him.

They didn't do much, but they stayed inside the apartment and spent the day together. Sasuke told Itachi what had gone on in the past year, with Itachi listening intently but not adding anything of his own. It was obvious to him that Sasuke was starved for intimate attention and care, and he did his best to fill that gap by listening and giving Sasuke as much affection as he could.

The day drew to a close, and the brother's ended up in a rocking chair from their old home that Sasuke had been given to keep. The younger was nestled in his brother's lap contentedly as Itachi rocked back and forth very slowly.

"Aniki…"

"Hm?"

"I miss them a lot." This was said in a whisper, as if Sasuke was afraid to admit it.

"I know."

Another moment of silence ensued and Sasuke rested his head against Itachi's chest once more.

"Do you think they'd be proud of me?" He asked softly, but not as timidly.

Itachi was silent for a moment. "Yes, they would be very proud of you." He said this carefully, afraid of the response that may follow. He could not give Sasuke answers.

Sasuke did not smile, but only looked up to look into his brother's face. "Are you proud of me?"

If Itachi had picked a moment to cry, this would have been it, His throat closed up and he dared not look into those eyes he knew so well.

"Yes, Sasuke. I am very proud of you." He knew what words should follow, which words he should say to stop this from becoming too much. _But you are still weak. You need to be stronger._ But something stopped him.

Sasuke grew tired due to the rocking motion and the comfort he was experiencing. He felt very strange, warm maybe. Like he had been empty before but was no longer. He hadn't even noticed his eyes had closed until he felt Itachi getting up and carrying him to his bed.

"Wait…" he mumbled, trying to hold on to his brother even as he set him down. "Stay with me…"

Itachi kissed his brother's forehead and smoothed away the hair that fell into his eyes. "I will until you fall asleep. But then I must go."

"Why…?" Itachi could hear the tears in this word, this plea, but he could not answer. He only held Sasuke's hand and sat by him on the edge of the soft bed. Eventually, Sasuke did fall asleep, even without his answer.

Itachi's hand slipped from the boy's grip and he kissed him again just once more. "Forget this." He whispered to the sleeping child. "Hate me and forget this." He said the words as if he meant them, but inside something _clenched_ with rebellion. Itachi retrieved his things and made sure everything was as it was before, including the open window which he would leave from just as he had entered. He doubted Sasuke would think it was a dream, but he did not want him to have anything to hold onto other than the memory and the pin. Quickly leaving, he only looked back once. He would see Sasuke again. He just had to wait one more year.


End file.
